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2018 PORN Valley Invasion
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2018 PORN Valley Invasion
Balancing blocks game
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2018 PORN Valley Invasion
Bob Shay in his motorized Lazy Boy chair
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2018 PORN Valley Invasion
Car crushing
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2018 PORN Valley Invasion
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2018 PORN Valley Invasion
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2018 PORN Valley Invasion
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2018 PORN Valley Invasion
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2018 PORN Valley Invasion
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2018 PORN Valley Invasion
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2018 PORN Valley Invasion
Pyrotechnics at the mud pit
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2018 PORN Valley Invasion
RTI ramp
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2018 PORN Valley Invasion
Tech inspection line-up
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2018 PORN Valley Invasion
Captain Jeff with Kelly Nickerson
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2018 PORN Valley Invasion
Chris Smith of General Tire with Bob Shay winning a set of General Grabber X3s
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2018 PORN Valley Invasion
Johnny Goodwin winning the Warn 8274
By Len Spencer, photos by Cindy & Jeff Hiltz, Dean Caldwell, Dee Mack & Kimberley Hingley
The question that arises after a successful event, and before the work starts again… is how can we make it better? Well… How about we make it bigger? How much bigger without compromising the quality of the event? Let’s double it in size baby! Let’s have more trails, twice the people, and the BIGGEST prize draw we’ve ever seen. Not only that, let’s have some rockin’ cosplay, coarse language (Check out FIOFOF on the P.O.R.N. FB page on Fridays), glittering fireworks, enthusiastic car crushing, dirty mud pit action, some outstanding live entertainment, and party with the people for three or four or even five days (some pirates are keen to get started and show up on Tuesday for an event where the registration is not until Thursday), and oh yeah… I almost forgot…
GO WHEELING!
This year we had about 200 rigs and over 350 people on almost a dozen trails with everything from mild to wild. Many folks wanted to do an off-road 101 and learn about the rig they’re driving and then do some social wheeling. Enter John Cranfield (long time GM of Jeep Jamboree Canada) and his lovely co-presenter Larry, who not only entertained, but educated and astounded with over 250 years of combined off-road expertise. They’re old AF folks, but we love ‘em. Some wanted mud? They slipped on (pun intended) over to Cranfield’s Revenge where there was enough mud to clog the tires of even the most fearsome mud warrior. Mud not your thing, ‘princess’? That’s ok; the lads took the more delicate drivers over to the Ringer where they didn’t have to worry about a little mud on the tires.
Now don’t worry folks, if you’re somewhere between hairy-chested mud monster and delicate rock princess, it’s ok… there was something for everyone and there will be again in 2018. From scenic drives up the mountain to a trip down Tia’s Trail, dedicated to a beautiful and kind friend taken from us far too soon, to all manner of social wheeling trails of all levels. Tickets went on sale December 1, 2017 for Invasion 2018 and it WILL sell out fast, so get in there.
People postponed weddings to drive across the country for this event. They’ve come from England and Florida, the islands (PEI and Newfoundland), and all points on the North American map. For 2018, come out, dress up, see Roger in a skirt, party on with the Captain of the Fleet, sing, hoot and holler, meet friends old and new, and maybe… just maybe, you’ll be like Johnny Goodwin, and run across the field like your ass is on fire when you find out you just won a brand new Warn 8274 from our man Gary Mason at Dartmouth Dodge. You might be like Bob Shay, and have to rise unaided from your motorized recliner to accept a set of five tires of your choice from Chris Smith of General Tire (The Official Traction of the P.O.R.N. Valley Invasion) fame, to name but two of the many corporate partners that make this event fantastic.
You know, life is a funny thing. One day you’re wheeling with friends in the 1990s, then in the 2000s you’re working with Jeep Jamboree Canada, and then in the 2010s you’re sitting in a restaurant in Truro talking about the vision for Pirate Off Road Nation (P.O.R.N. not porn, calm yourself, this is a family publication). Finally you are on the phone, on the road, and on Facebook…talking to merchants, potential sponsors, and the most important people in any commercial venture…the people you serve. Finally, you are in the company of the BEST volunteer off-road event team ever, helping to run and organize the most superlative off-road, brand-friendly event in the country. To Captain of the Fleet Jeff and Cindy Hiltz, and the rest of a list too long for publication, this is a public shout out to all who make the Pirate Off Road Nation and the entire off-road community a better place. Bravo Zulu! It was my pleasure.
You too, could be part of one of the greatest off-road party and wheeling events on the planet… Or you might just be too sensitive and flower-like to handle it. That’s not for the P.O.R.N. Krew to judge though, look in the mirror and make your own decision.
So, to review people:
- Something for everyone
- Cosplay, coarse language, fireworks, and live entertainment
- Drink/drug and drive? Stay home, we don’t tolerate that AT ALL
- Prizes
- Great people
- Awesome wheeling
Call Heidi at the Fox Mountain Camping Park and tell her you’re a P.O.R.N. enthusiast, she’ll know who sent you. See you there in 2018!